Image via WikipediaSo I went to prayer at my church on Wednesday and the pastor talked about fear. there really isn't any need for fear in my life. I need to stand up and do something about my fears instead of letting them define me.
I'm always helping people with their problems, whether they're relationship related or indigo related, for some reason they call me. And I love it. I love helping people and I love when people know they can come to me with their problems. But who's going to help me? There's about four people who I can actually be honest with about what's going on in my life... but I don't talk to them as much as I should. And I hate admitting when I'm going through something.
So I'm letting go of my fears. By admitting them here I can strive to let go of them and go on with my life. Fear is the core of all of my problems and I can't get anywhere in life with it. So let me continue my list of fears...
I'm afraid that people are going to look at me and see all the secrets of my past, I'm afraid to be judged, even though I know its inevitable, I'm afraid that I won't be able to help my family and that we'll end up like every other time... kicked out and on the move. I'm afraid that my siblings will have to struggle like I did because we can't afford a better life for them. I'm afraid that my closest brother is going through more than he's ever been through and I'm not there to help him through it. I'm afraid that my career will end up in the gutter, I'm afraid that I will disappoint my mother, I'm afraid that I will destroy my future because of a bad decision I've already made. I afraid that I will gain wait if I don't start exercising regularly, I'm afraid that I'm too average, I'm afraid that I won't get any lead roles in college plays, I'm afraid that I'll be single for the rest of my life, I'm afraid that noone finds me attractive.
I have never expressed those fears to anyone, but now they're out there... and now I can let go of them...hopefully.
~~*kisses*~~
Fear is natural. I remember feeling that way before my freshman year of college. When I found out I couldn't go to my dream school because of money issues...when I realized I couldn't move out of my parents house. But it passes when you start your life in college...wherever it ends up being...Community or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI think putting them out there will help you darius...you know I'm always here for you.
Yeah I know, you're amazing and I thank you for all your support over the years <3
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